Where did my candy go? I guess i might look in the box even though i knew that it was going to be empty. I opened the box – empty, what a surprise! I knew that I going to find my candy in there. Wait what is that, I see something in the corner of my eye it was the thing i searched countless hour for…. well, maybe five minutes but it felt like nine hours. It was my CANDY! I ran over and grabbed it. I put that giant candy in my mouth. It was the best candy ever.
Johnny, it is so lovely to hear your voice so clearly in your writing. I also enjoyed your description “in the corner of my eye” and “countless hours”. Both of these are fabulous phrases. Perhaps try reading over your work and seeing if you can find the place where you have a comma, which would be better as a question mark and also the two missing capital letters. Keep writing! The grammar is only there to help the reader hear your voice in your writing and you have a wonderful writing voice.