100 WC Week 9: Holden

One day I was sitting in my room. I was watching a video about scary stories. One of them was about a kid sitting in his house alone. He heard a noise and he stood up. The noise was coming from the bathroom. He tried to call his parents to ask what to do; no answer. He started to wonder what was behind the door….

 

(P.s he dies)

One thought on “100 WC Week 9: Holden”

  1. Hi Holden,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a phrase which evokes a mystery, ‘I wondered what was behind the door.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a thriller setting. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a mystery setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. The theme of mystery is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people will have experienced the genre, either through reading books or watching films. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have always loved the genre. I have enjoyed reading it and watching it particularly – I think films of this sort are best watched in a group, because while they are really suspenseful you can get some great comedy as well! By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that the character was sitting in there room, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like the fact that the character was watching a videos, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. Emphasis on the fact that the character was really into the video about scary stories, adding to the mysterious nature of the piece, fully fleshes out your point and makes it very apparent for the reader. The piece continues to develop, as the video involves similarly a kid on there own in their house, almost paralleling the character’s own situation. With a noise coming from the bathroom in the video, this is a suspenseful turn to the piece thus far, and the dramatic change is very effective. The description of the standing up in fright is really effective, as this is a really realistic response to what he has just witnessed – most people would have been feeling equally scared by this! With the character calling for his parent’s and hearing nothing back, we get the sense that he is very alone, which is really nicely portrayed into the piece. The ending with the use of the prompt leaves the reader gasping at a sorrowful ending. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of the ellipsis. Keep up the good work!

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