John was silently breathing under his covers. For quite awhile now, he had been worrying about a noise only a few feet outside his room. His door was shut, thank goodness. He was only 6 years old, so he didn’t no better. Suddenly, he heard nothing but the rustling of his blanket. He exhaled. He was asleep. He had been dreaming. However, come to think of it, that dream was pretty cool. He went back to sleep, but couldn’t return to his dream. When he woke up the next morning, he spoke to himself. “I wonder what was behind the door.”
Hi Paul,
Well done on your story this week. You have used some great descriptions in your work. I think your opening line is very effective at grabbing your readers attention. Including John’s age made me think that something really bad was going to happen. I was almost disappointed that your story was only a dream in the end!
Keep up the great work.